a lot of things suddenly came through my mind. all the memories, the people, the words, the situation etc..
(this is the outcome of being too bored.. lol) was wondering if i'm the kind of person who is fierce, arrogant, no manners, impolite. never keep promise, never care about other's feeling etc..
(whatever bad behavior you can think of) well, i believe there's people who think i'm like such.. no denial that i do feel so sometimes.. i will only realize it after it happened or after a long time when i recalled it.. i believe i can actually avoid these from happening.. which is "think properly before you say, think properly before you act".. i'm a straight forward person.. i used to say or act before think about it properly.. whatever is in my mind is the same as whatever come out from my mouth.. or however i feel is written on my face or my action.. that's how i behave.. i believe i did hurt a lot of your feeling.. truly sorry if you are one of the victims.. special sorry to most of my guy friends.. i have no idea why i tend to be much more fierce to guys than gals.. and i hardly believe whatever guys say.. no offence.. just maybe it's a way of protecting myself from being cheated..
besides, i'm neither decisive nor indecisive.. i can make decision straight and fast.. but my decision will change depends on the circumstances.. thus, i kinda envy people who can stand strong for their decision no matter what.. this is how a successful person should behave.. and i truly believe in it as i have seen a few examples.. even though the process that you have to go through wouldn't be easy.. but if enjoy and believe in it, things would change.. it depends on how you look into it.. however, i'm still not brave enough to do what i used to wish to.. i used to dream a lot.. used to think of become a designer, a professional dancer, a biochemist etc.. but reality pull me back.. i become a designer?! well, my imagination, creativity, drawing etc aren't as good as others.. can be considered as poor.. i become a professional dancer?! i wouldn't be able to survive in the market after few years.. i become biochemist?! well, no way.. such sucky SPM result still dare to think of become one?!?! hundred and thousand of reasons stopped me from taking further step into those fields.. well, you might think those're just excuses.. yea.. maybe.. it's just all because i'm not confident and brave enough.. yea.. i know.. that's the reason why i'm in accounting field now.. not to say i study this course blindly (well, maybe.. as it seems like i have forgotten whatever i studied last semester or last last semester etc) i have learnt something which made me think that this field isn't that bad.. i tried to like it and enjoy studying it but it still hasn't change my mind to like it.. neither like nor dislike..
well, i believe money can't buy everything but i believe more in no money, no talk.. that's one of the reasons why i chose accounting field.. as i heard a lot of comments saying it would be easier to find a job in the future as accountants are in demand or accountant is a professional body who wouldn't be jobless no matter what happen or bla bla bla.. i guess those reasons are convincing enough to make me believe in it and decided to go into it.. no turning back.. 2 more years to go.. hopefully i will like it when it becomes my career..
enough for that.. i know whatever i said above seems negative, emo, down bla bla bla.. no worries, it will end here end now.. tomorrow would be another new wonderful day..
smile ^^